Natural Born Kilners

We are learning about ceramics this month...it's been very interesting. They insist on making jokes about the clay looking like body waste. Kids are so childish.
We watched a very informative video on making clay animals. At one point a student asked me what a bevel was. Before I could respond, another student helped out by informing him that his mama is a bevel. It's true though, his mother is a 45 degree angled edge.

My art club girls are making puppets for a contest. One of them came up to me to show me her creation. I marvel in the micro-braids and hip-hop attire covering the puppet. Her skin is a beautiful shade of light brown and she's smiling a crooked red smile.

"This is a nice puppet! Tell me about it."
She looks up at me with a huge smile...
"It's of my favorite teacher......Miss Jumpa!!!!"

I didn't stress realism in the assignment, so I can't really complain. Plus I looked pretty good in puppet-sized jam pants.

Balemtime's Day

There are certain days every elementary teacher dreads...the first days of school after a holiday break, the day before any holiday break, and Valentine's Day. 500 children running around, high on sugar and ready to hand you a High School Musical valentine card with their sticky-sweet germ hands. Gross.
I've been sick for almost a week. Children are to blame, I am sure of this. One of my younger boys asked me "Miss Jumpa, is you sick? Your face is red!" Another little boy interjects calmly, "Duh, dummy, her face is ALWAYS red."
My all-time favorite V-Day card was given to me today by one of my most hilarious 3rd grade boys.
He finished his work early so I told him to make a handmade card for someone. This really thrilled him and he went right to work. A few minutes later he handed me the card. "Here Miss Jumpa. This is for you."
My heart melted. I hugged him and told him how thoughtful he was. I should've known something was up when he ran back to his seat, (which, by the way, is in violation of Miss Jumpa's Art Safety Rules, but whatev), trying his darndest to suppress his snorting laughter. I opened the card and read the following (spelling corrected, naturally):
Violets are red
Roses are blue
Yo momma got a big head
And so do you.

Matta fact you whole family do, too!

Now, I know what you're thinking. Bull#$%%, Miss Jumpa, you made that up. But the point of this blog is to share the sheer brilliance of my students and the things they teach me. And it's all true. And, matta fact, we all do have pretty big heads. So at least he's observant.

Happy Balemtime's Day!

At least you won't have roaches in your hair

I was walking (more like sauntering) down the hallway today, and I hear this voice behind me..

"Miss Jumpa! Miss Jumpa! Guess what happened this morning?"

"What happened this morning?"

"My momma sprayed roach spray in my hair!!!"

Miss Jumpa stops, horrified, and tries to remember the number to DSS.
"What!?!?!?"

"Yeah! She thought the can of Raid was my oil sheen, and she sprayed it all over my head!!!"
She then waves goodbye, continues to laugh as she skips down the hallway.

Vomit and more!

I threw up in front of my babies yesterday. Well, I ran out of the room to throw up in the bathroom as the children watched me in horror and confusion. They all stared at me when I walked back in, like they couldn't understand how a robot could actually get sick. Most of them think I live at school and feed on copier paper.
I feel much better today, but 15 hours of sleep will make anyone feel like a sparkly new human (or robot, for that matter).

Quote of the day:
While running toward the swings afterschool...
"Lemme show you how this swingin' stuff is DONE, son!"