The End of the Beginning

My first year of teaching is over.

It was very bittersweet. I laughed, I cried, I raged on some children....

The last few days were intense. Kids were hugging me, crying, and begging me not to move back to "Okahoma". A few 5th grade boys high-fived each other when I told them I would not be returning...which is dumb because they'll be in middle school anyway. But I let them have their moment of triumph.

I went to Wal Mart yesterday to waste time before a movie, and there in the aisles was 3 of my little terrors. Their eyes beamed and they ran over to hug me.

"Miss Jumpa!!!! We didn't even know you were HERE!!!!"

Wal Mart should have announced my arrival better.

The past 9 months have been intense, to say the least. I learned alot about teaching, but even more about kids. They all just want to be loved. I definitely accomplished that. I know they'll remember Miss Jumpa because their hugs and smiles on the last day showed me that, even on my worst days, I made a difference to them.

A fellow teacher's blog

Check it out...
http://mymeremotif. blogspot. com/

Spelling 101

Open Scene
Kindergarten students are lined up, ready to go back to class. Miss Jumpa quizzes them on spelling to keep them from bouncing into the walls and damaging things.

Miss Jumpa: D-O-G
Students:DOG!
Miss Jumpa: B-O-A-T
Students: BOAT!
Miss Jumpa: U-N-I-V-E-R-S-I-T-Y
Students: uhhhhh....*pause*
Little girl in front: LADYBUG!!!! * High fives kid behind her*

End Scene

Yoga for the Second Grade Soul

Spring Break is over.

The children are off the CHAIN.

And not in the good way.

My 2nd graders come to me straight from recess. Not conducive to learning or teaching art. The only thing it's good for is raising my blood pressure to the point of steam literally coming out of my ears.

So last week I decided to teach some of them yoga to chill them out a little.

We all sat in the lotus position and practiced breathing.

They already knew how to take me out of my "happy place" by humming OMMMMMMMMMMM at the top of their lungs. One little girl told me that I "better get it tight, better get it right" if I was to find me a man.

Yes, I'm aware that I am becoming that art teacher that does yoga in class and talks about negative energy and happy places. I have accepted this. I refuse, however, to wear gauzy peasant shirts and Birkenstocks. I REFUSE, DO YOU HEAR ME?!

Advice-Part 1

My first piece of advice for all you future teachers-in-the-hood would be to act farking insane on the first day of school. What I mean is stare wide-eyed at the kids when they ask you questions, get on your desk and yell at "the man" for stealing your identity, and eat pencil shavings for lunch.
No one will eff with you for the rest of the year.
NO ONE.

Natural Born Kilners

We are learning about ceramics this month...it's been very interesting. They insist on making jokes about the clay looking like body waste. Kids are so childish.
We watched a very informative video on making clay animals. At one point a student asked me what a bevel was. Before I could respond, another student helped out by informing him that his mama is a bevel. It's true though, his mother is a 45 degree angled edge.

My art club girls are making puppets for a contest. One of them came up to me to show me her creation. I marvel in the micro-braids and hip-hop attire covering the puppet. Her skin is a beautiful shade of light brown and she's smiling a crooked red smile.

"This is a nice puppet! Tell me about it."
She looks up at me with a huge smile...
"It's of my favorite teacher......Miss Jumpa!!!!"

I didn't stress realism in the assignment, so I can't really complain. Plus I looked pretty good in puppet-sized jam pants.

Balemtime's Day

There are certain days every elementary teacher dreads...the first days of school after a holiday break, the day before any holiday break, and Valentine's Day. 500 children running around, high on sugar and ready to hand you a High School Musical valentine card with their sticky-sweet germ hands. Gross.
I've been sick for almost a week. Children are to blame, I am sure of this. One of my younger boys asked me "Miss Jumpa, is you sick? Your face is red!" Another little boy interjects calmly, "Duh, dummy, her face is ALWAYS red."
My all-time favorite V-Day card was given to me today by one of my most hilarious 3rd grade boys.
He finished his work early so I told him to make a handmade card for someone. This really thrilled him and he went right to work. A few minutes later he handed me the card. "Here Miss Jumpa. This is for you."
My heart melted. I hugged him and told him how thoughtful he was. I should've known something was up when he ran back to his seat, (which, by the way, is in violation of Miss Jumpa's Art Safety Rules, but whatev), trying his darndest to suppress his snorting laughter. I opened the card and read the following (spelling corrected, naturally):
Violets are red
Roses are blue
Yo momma got a big head
And so do you.

Matta fact you whole family do, too!

Now, I know what you're thinking. Bull#$%%, Miss Jumpa, you made that up. But the point of this blog is to share the sheer brilliance of my students and the things they teach me. And it's all true. And, matta fact, we all do have pretty big heads. So at least he's observant.

Happy Balemtime's Day!

At least you won't have roaches in your hair

I was walking (more like sauntering) down the hallway today, and I hear this voice behind me..

"Miss Jumpa! Miss Jumpa! Guess what happened this morning?"

"What happened this morning?"

"My momma sprayed roach spray in my hair!!!"

Miss Jumpa stops, horrified, and tries to remember the number to DSS.
"What!?!?!?"

"Yeah! She thought the can of Raid was my oil sheen, and she sprayed it all over my head!!!"
She then waves goodbye, continues to laugh as she skips down the hallway.